The best thing you can do is inform them of what they are about to face. Talking about issues like peer pressure and just added pressure in general are very important. In high school you no longer get grades that are so heavily weighted on effort but actual success. Fitting in is hard and can drive some kids to breakdowns if they don’t know what to look for in a “good friend.” High school is confusing and emotional, so keep your kids informed and just let them know you are there. All kids want is to be accepted in high school, so at home, if they are always welcomed, it can be a big help. Allowing your kids to be open with you and trust you also makes a big difference. Let them know that you provide a certain safety – not necessarily “free from judgment,” but an open forum to discuss issues, a place where you’re always there to talk.

Questions are answered by Episcopal High School students.

If your child is responsible enough to own a car, then you should help him or her in owning one; however, turning 16 is not just a right of passage for owning a car. You have to make sure your child is responsible enough to drive, and you have to make sure you can trust your child behind the wheel of a car.

With that said, it is unrealistic for a teenager to make enough money to buy a car. It is ridiculous seeing kids our age drive around in cars more expensive than what many parents drive. If you start your kid out in a $45,000 or $50,000 luxury car, then what do they have to look forward to?

A car for a 16-year-old should be simple. It should be cheap, it should be functional, and it should be reasonable. Kids will make mistakes, trust us – we know. Don’t compound the inevitable. Giving a kid an 8-cylinder BMW is a mistake.

 Dear Teenager questions are answered by Episcopal High School students.

First of all, you should know that this is an argument that other children and parents have had many times before.  Look at the trip you have planned.  Is it a simple, three or four-day trip that will give your child ample time to spend with her friends for the rest of break, or is it a multi-week excursion that would mean she might possibly miss celebrating New Year’s Eve in town with her friends?  Is the trip to a location she usually would enjoy, or is it something she usually wouldn’t enjoy anyways (i.e. it’s to a ski lodge and she hates skiing)?  Having been dragged on a vacation we didn’t want to go on ourselves by our parents, we can honestly say that the pledge we made to act miserable the entire time was simply impossible to uphold (not to say your daughter won’t do it for part of the time.)  If it is a simple, fairly short trip to a destination she would typically enjoy, we suggest you go ahead and make her go along.  Otherwise, we would take her thoughts and feelings into consideration this time and let her pass.  Another viable option you could consider (although extra plain tickets might cost a lot at this point) would be allowing her to bring a friend along.  Either way, you know your daughter and her feelings better than anyone.

Answered by Episcopal High School students.

Students typically put their teachers on a pedestal, which is what makes these recent drug arrests so shocking (and publicized).  But now an argument has arisen over whether drug testing should be put in place for HISD faculty.  Yes, roughly over a dozen teachers have been arrested.  But consider that HISD employs over 12,000 teachers.  Also, the arrests have been for small amounts of marijuana or undocumented prescription drugs.  Drug testing the faculty would be costly, especially for HISD, a large school district with severely limited funding to begin with.  Don’t get us wrong.  Drugs are wrong, and HISD should absolutely get involved if a student’s safety or quality of education is threatened, or if that student’s perception of illegal drugs changes because they believe a faculty member has been partaking.  But what has been discovered so far is not enough to indicate that HISD needs to take drastic other action.

Answered by Episcopal High School students.

Dear Student,

We do not believe that there is a set group of people who are popular at any school, but the kids of whom you are speaking are kids who have a lot of friends. The best advice we can give to you is to be confident, and let people like you for you. There is nothing that makes people more nervous that a shy, timid person in the back of the classroom who refuses to speak.

Be confident in who you are and do not be afraid to talk to anyone and strive to find similar ground in conversation. However, there is a difference between being confident and being cocky. People who are or act overly arrogant often push people away rather than drawing them in. The key to being ‘popular’ is being ‘liked.’ Being nice and genuine may sound like a lame answer, but it is what your peers value. People begin to grow tiresome of those who lie, cheat and act with an air of perfection. When you stop worrying about becoming ‘popular’ and begin focusing on being confident and truthful, you will find yourself surrounded by all the right people.

Question answered by Episcopal High School students

My son has always been involved in school sports, but lately (junior year) he hasn’t seemed interested. What should I do, and should I be worried?

Dear Worried Parent,

We would strongly encourage you to first try talking to your son. The best thing you can do right now is to open up a dialogue so you can better understand your son’s reasons for making this change. You say that your son seems uninterested; perhaps your son has lost his passion for his sport and instead wants to focus more on schoolwork or his other activities. Again, we would advise you to not be worried and instead try to talk to your son about his decision. That said, if your son seems to be slacking in his schoolwork or losing interest in old friends, you should be concerned with the possibility that he may be getting involved in some risky activities, at which point you would want to seek professional help.

Question answered by Episcopal High School students

Peer pressure has affected teens across the globe. We
feel that there are very effective ways to avoid it. One way we have
found to be successful is by coming up with a viable excuse. Such as,
“sorry, I’m driving,” or “sorry, I’m an athlete.” The more elaborate the
excuse and serious the delivery, the larger the success rate. For those with
stronger wills, we suggest telling the truth. By simply saying, “No, I’m not
into that stuff,” or “crack is wack man.” Students raised with a religious
background generally rely on their faith as a source of strength. Families
are also a strong way to say no. Betraying your parents trust is a big deal,
so parents that emphasize that drugs and drinking are bad instill good
ideas. Basically, drug awareness and knowing what it does to your body is
reason enough to say no.

Answered by Episcopal High School students

We like it best when our parents trust us and maintain a level of privacy.
Kids generally appreciate when their parents show signs of support and
concern without being too nosey. It is a fine line to cross, but most parents
are good at achieving a balance. We like it when parents help us organize
our schedules. Many kids really like when our parents help us out with
buying certain things. We like when our parents cook. We like when our
parents defend our ideas, even to one another. We like when our parents
lighten our chore load just because. We appreciate our allowances. We like
when they hold us accountable to teach us lessons, but fairly. Sometimes
when they are funny. We are fond of the unconditional love they constantly
pour over us. We appreciate their forgiveness. We like the metaphorical
pedestal they inevitably put us on.

Answered by Episcopal High School students